My Heart Baby

When you bring a child with a congenital heart defect into your family, it changes your perspective on life and living.

We flew into Nanjing, China on December 7th, 2003 after having traveled for over forty hours to get there. Brian and I were both exhausted! We were met at the airport by our guide, Susan, and driven to our hotel. On the way out to the van, Susan informed me that our baby was at the hotel waiting for us. We hadn't expected to get her until the next day, so this news was a complete surprise. Upon hearing this, I felt a burst of energy shoot into my brain...and I think I ran on that adrenaline high for the next several days.

We quickly checked into the Jingling Hotel and once our luggage arrived to our room, I awkardly tumbled through them to locate gifts that were packed for the orphanage director and nannies. The one thing I remember most about the room at the Jingling was that everything was white--the linens, the walls, even the small crib that was positioned right next to one of the twin-sized beds. I claimed dibs on that bed the moment I saw that little white crib sitting next to it. While we waited for the director and her driver to bring our daughter to us, we sat down and tried to breathe....there was not time to relax. We took turns shuffling over to the door and peering through the peep hole to see if we could catch a glimpse of our soon-to-be daughter coming down the hallway. It seemed to take forever but it was about 30 minutes later when we heard the knock at the door. I jumped up and flew across the room!!!! And then, at that most holy and cherished moment, I was touching the most precious little bundle of baby girl that I could ever have imagined. Not only did I fall madly in love with her the moment she was placed into my arms but I quickly discovered that I had a very sick baby girl to take care of. Our tiny, 20 month old Lillian Grace YiChen only weighed 17 pounds soaking wet. She could not walk related to the fact she had absolutely no muscle mass in her tiny little legs...legs that hung like noodles when we held her. I remember at some point our guide telling me that the facilitator needed to speak to me on the phone. I listened. I heard, "The baby YiChen is very sick...do you still want to adopt her?" DO I STILL WANT TO ADOPT HER? I remember politely telling the voice on the other end of the phone line, "I didn't come all the way to China to go home without her....Yes, we still want to adopt her!"

A couple of months after we arrived home with Lilly, she was stronger...she was walking pretty much like any other toddler, and she was ready to have her life-saving open heart surgery. And, what a difference that surgery made in Lilly's life. Her health improved!!! How great is our God to reach down and rescue a child via the hands of a gifted cardiac surgeon? She experienced several bouts of pneumonia in the years that followed her heart surgery, but for the most part she has not had any problems with her heart.

I received a call from the school nurse at noon today. She told me that Lilly had been playing basketball when her head started hurting and she began to have chest pain and nausea. My heart skipped a couple of beats and I felt the air leave my lungs...sometimes, when I get upset, I unconsciously forget to breathe. My head started spinning but I somehow found my breath and told the nurse I would be right there to pick her up.

Oh to look upon a child who I know is hurting!!! Our eyes met as I bent over to look at her face and ask her what was going on. She had tears at the outer edges of her almond-shaped eyes and I knew they would spill over if she squeezed them closed, which she did almost immediately. She was lying down on the cot in the nurse's office, but all I could see was her little body in that hospital bed with tubes coming out of her chest; with wires connected to various pumps and medical appliances; with a tummy upset from all the physical trauma and medications that had been administered to help her recover from surgery. I knew she was scared...then, and now. Bless her!

The doctor ordered an EKG and checked her oxygen saturation. He could tell by looking at the EKG strip that she'd had a previous heart surgery...but he didn't see any indication of a presenting cardiac issue. I felt some of the tension release, and it was at that point that my body could finally stop the adrenaline flood....I could breathe easier. I knew we could deal with it....I knew that my prayers of "God, just let her be okay!" had been answered.

We think she's experiencing a condition called costochondritis, which is an inflammatory process that occurs in between the bones and cartilage in the chest wall. She's still having some tummy issues, some continued chest pain and her headache has returned. Another dose of ibuprofen is on board and she's off to bed. Praying...praying....praying that she heals.

When you bring a child into your family who's heart was so sick...sick enough that she would have undoubtly died had it not be repaired, days like today are experienced with a large dose of adrenaline and a lot of prayer.

Please say a prayer for our Lilly tonight....

Blessed to be a blessing,
Deb